Recently with the death of Robin Williams, depression has been discussed quite a lot. Also with the push of Depression Quest and ironically the scandal involving the personal lives of the creator Zoe Quinn and
others (I won't spread the Burger and Fries blog because that's not
necessary), the value and merit of the game has been discussed.
To be honest, I never really heard much about the world of
depression before the past few years. I knew someone in University who
suffered it and took medication. I didn't quite get it. I said the
stereotypical line to myself "how can he be doing well in university, have a boyfriend, a car he adores, a loving network of family and friends"
and yet he often finds himself in this black hole, he can't explain
where he needs to be alone and take medication. I will say that will
educating yourself is important in life, people cannot be blamed for
simply not knowing the details of every illness and situation that all
humans can/do go through. There's a difference between being unaware and
plain ignorant.
It was my first encounter and it wasn't until 2 years later I would
go through my own bouts. I don't suffer from clinical depression, but I
do go through extreme cases of it. I endured it for a year straight,
loss of hope, waning faith and it was all new to me. I'd been sad of
course, but this was new, fresh, roaring with life and yet so empty and
dead. I can't describe it gracefully. You kinda know
it's coming and you want to fight it, you sit in a silent panic
internally, willing it to subside and not to come back.
I'd like to also to just highlight that just because someone is not
diagnosed with depression or suffering it due to a chemical imbalance,
does not make the depression they go through any less harrowing or
invalid for purpose of discussion.
While it's good to talk about these things, a lot can be said for
not delving in to talks of depression as a topic, taking a back seat and
playing video games like Depressing Quest and Actual Sunlight, can have a doubled edge sword effect.
I think it's perfectly ok and understandable to play these games
that you can relate to or that can give you even a glimmer of insight,
but on the other hand I would like to heavily promote the idea that it's
also ok to not indulge in them.
Playing video games can help you when you're going through stages of
depression, because you're playing something immersive that takes your
mind off it. It doesn't fix anything, but it gives you a mental relief. I
can play Mass Effect, Pokémon, Metro or anything and just
focus on getting through the levels, indulging in the story and for a
little while not being bogged down in what I'm usually thinking when not
heavily distracted.
HEAVILY DISTROOCTED!
I wouldn't ever play games like Depression Quest, whilst being in a very dark place. I've started a playthrough of Actual Sunlight and
I'm not sure if I want to continue. For me if I do, it will be to
simply complete the game. Again if you do for whatever reason, then
that's good, that's dandy. But for me I see it as a slippery slope, one
that is letting me succumb even further. For others that
feeling of understanding can make them, momentarily perhaps, feel less
alone and so for that reason, I get it.
On the Scary Granules Channel I begun a play-through of The Cat Lady. Unlike Depression Quest and Actual Sunlight,
this game is brutal in it's visceral, cerebral bluntness and gore. The
game is like a shock of emotional, deathly lightning, that's how I felt
when the initial subdued, bleak opening dialogue ended.
I decided to not go on any further after a certain point of the
game. It was very close to home in the subject matter and I could get a
feeling that no matter how this game ended, there would be no uplifting
conclusion or aftermath, not really. The path being taken by our
heroine, if you could call her that, was not one of redemption or
resolve and upon reading the script for the remainder of the game I
didn't want to play, I found out that my assumptions were pretty
accurate. Though the elves and choices you make and characters you come
across were a lot more morbid than I would have guessed.
Again this is a case of something having the ability to resonate
with someone, but whether that leads to a positive or negative effect is
wholly dependant on the individual.
Summary of things I've learnt under the "gaming and depression" umbrella:
There's a lot to be said for playing online multiplayer games when
you're in a rough spot, this is coming from a 95% single player gamer.
It's nice to play with friends or people who are cool online, for a
brief moment, you kinda lose that feeling of loneliness.
Decide for yourself what is the best course when it comes to picking
a game to play when you're depressed. Go with your gut and trust
yourself whether you decide to play something where depression is the
primary theme or decide not to. It's ok either way.
Don't beat yourself up or beat others for not knowing what you're
going through. How could they, it's such a solitary, internal personal
conflict.
Play games for what they are, don't let the e-drama ruin that for you.
For those that are interested and not aware, though you probably are - Depression Quest is free currently on Steam. Despite
the actions of the creator, that doesn't really encourage me one way or
the other, not to at least give folks a heads up and decide for
themselves.
I write a lot. A lot, a lot, a lot. Most of it isn't contained to one website either. A lot of works are on my original start up site Glowbear Ramblings. Some are over at Destructoid and peppered amongst other websites.
Some of my recent pride-filled articles and reviews can be found at Big Red Barrel, a leading gaming website in the United Kingdom that is becoming quite a known, awesome reputable company in itself.
Some favourites are:
The Lull of Video Game Voice Actors - is about my love of the voices behind some beloved characters in gaming and the versatility they give to the story games convey as well.
Why Horror Franchises Get Less Scary With Sequels - focuses on exactly that, the question of whether the more a series curns out, the less the initial horror that was primary in it, remains scary.
Interview with Beatbuddy Team at Rezzed - My first video inteview with a gaming developer...though that may be pretty obvious from the content
A tweet of mine always was featured on Gameopolis News Section
Don't forget that our weekly (mostly) podcast focusing on gaming news, scandals and horror genre stuff, can be found at the following:
Scary Granules Facebook
Scary Granules Twitter
As always, any comments, shares, reposts and messages are always greatly appreciated and go a long way to helping me and other freelance gaming journalists get out their and do something they love.
A few weeks ago I wrote about the entitlement and blind shortsightedness that was running rampant, especially within gaming and instigated by the Chloe Sagal and Allistair Pinsof scandal. So called a scandal, because of the actions those not even related or involved.
I bring this up because I see some vague parallels between what went on with that fiasco and the recent display of ridiculous basement dwelling flagging of Anita Sarkeesian's Tropes Vs Women series on Youtube. Now I am not a fan of Sarkeesian, but that doesn't mean I abhor her or her opinions. I just have no strong feelings regarding the individual. I don't agree with many of her points, but at the same time a lot of her points are well executed in terms of presentation and they aren't wrong. I mean when she says there's a lot of common trends that follow female character depiction in games, such as how many games have you star as a man who's wife is killed and you must save your daughter, she's right. There are a lot and not only is it repetitive but it is somewhat worrying.
But while her videos are executed in a professional, though somewhat wooden, manner, some topics by Sarkeesian seem to be stretching it a bit. It's a sort of faux-martyr syndrome. That we are subjected to so much degradation, that we can't differentiate between between what's actually a problem and what simply isn't. Political correctness is no something I oppose, because at the end of the day, not saying certain things won't kill you. But there is such a thing as going too far and restricting so much that conversation and viewpoints becomes emotionless and you are leaving a dilemma in a futile stagnant state.
One issue I have with Sarkeesian, is regarding the space of time between her videos, primarily the videos that a lot of people gave actual money towards funding, via her Kickstarter. People lost their mind over her Damsel in Distress Kickstarter, completely forgetting that it has nothing to do with their lives. If strangers want to give their money to something they personally support, then let them be, it's none of your business. Even if you find Sarkeesian to be more of a plight than an aid, to the sexism issues facing gaming today, she is not the worst. Her opinions might not always be expressed in a correct manner, such as the mix reviews towards her description of Bayonetta, but there are other people that are seriously spreading dangerous mindsets and blood-baying requests. Sarkeesian isn't doing that and if she is, she's adding some textbook PowerPoint eloquence to it.
So when Sarkeesian finally brings out the next video in her publicly funded series, within moments what is the first thing that happens? A bunch of people with nothing better to do with their time and who can't handle opinions that conflict their own flagged it so much that Youtube took it down. As of this morning (29th May), Feminist Frequency have managed to sort out the error and get the video back online where it can be viewed here.
I'm not going to review the episode, but the what the flaggers did was pathetic and pointless. It goes to show just how irate people get when something scares them or something gets notice that disagrees with their thinking's. But then sometimes, a lot of people go crazy without actually adhering to the rage they're displaying. It's just to be a nuisance and fit in with a crowd. A crowd of lonely losers. If you have no real reason to back your 'sheer outrage' at someones video, then it will more than likely be vindicated and allowed back on. You wasted your time and you know what else you did, you garnished pity and more followers towards the person you detest so much. Even if her opinions are this or that, at least this individual is attempting to project them in a constructive manner and seems to actually put genuine effort into the videos, whether her allegations is 100% accurate or not.
The past year or so has been littered with damning stories pertaining to the gaming industry and community, a lot of it is to do with some form of hate. A lot of that hate is centered on sexual inequality and flaggers, screamers and arrogant people are only adding fuel to the flame, turning what should be creatively and mindfully correct and bettered, in to one giant flaming ball of ugliness. Gaming is a hobby, for everyone who wants to partake.
Alienation and entitlement should be left aside or at least formed into a less redundant, aggressive, closed minded trait.
